Mommin’ Ain’t Easy – 12 Things I Never Understood About Moms, Until I Became One

There were so many things this mom didn't understand about mom life before she became one herself. Being a mom isn't easy, but it's the best job around! mom life | new mom | first-time mom

Thank you to threadtank.com for sending me the graphic t-shirts featured in this post.

I became a new mom at a ripe 32 years old, and I’m 33 now. I grew up thinking I’d be a young, stay at home mom, but this not-so-young, working mom wouldn’t change a thing about the timeline of my life. The moment Taylor was placed on my chest I felt a deep confirmation that God had been with me through everything I’ve experienced – the light and the dark – and worked all of that together for good. After all, he gave me the honor of raising the most beautiful being I’ve ever met. But, back to being 33…

As a not-so-young-mom, I’ve watched many people and almost all of my girl friends have babies before me. The latter has been a super great advantage because I have these amazing moms to emulate and field my gazillion new mama questions. I also now realize that there were so many things I didn’t quite understand about being a mom, especially a new mom, and how it impacts your decision making that make complete sense to me now that I am one myself.

I get this now.

Here are 12 things I never fully understood about mom life, that I SO get now:

1.Leaving your baby to stay overnight is either out of the question, or really, really {did I say really?} hard to do.

I have yet to leave Taylor overnight and it would take a momentous occasion for me to even consider doing so. I’ve already had to say no to several super fun opportunities because I’m just not ready to leave T overnight. Plus, having to bring and use the pump every few hours on an overnight really takes away some of the “fun” element.

2. Going out to dinner with friends with a baby is sometimes more stress than it’s worth.

It’s not that we don’t want to get together with friends all the time (like we used to), it’s just that we can’t even be present when we’re trying to manage/wrangle a squirmy baby with a 2-minute attention span and a 7:00 PM bedtime.

It’s not that we don’t want to get together with friends all the time (like we used to), it’s just that we can’t even be present when we’re trying to manage/wrangle a squirmy baby with a 2-minute attention span and a 7:00 PM bedtime.

3. Being selfish with night and weekend time. As a working mom it’s really hard to give up any of the time you do get to spend with your babe to anything or anyone else, no matter how much you enjoy their company. I ADORE my friends, but I have this thing inside me that feels guilty for spending any more time away from Taylor than I already do during the week.

As a working mom it’s really hard to give up any of the time you do get to spend with your babe to anything or anyone else, no matter how much you enjoy their company. I ADORE my friends, but I have this thing inside me that feels guilty for spending any more time away from Taylor than I already do during the week.

4. Next level tiredness. Before having a newborn and now an 8-month-old going through teething/sleep regression, I thought I understood what being tired felt like too. Since having Taylor I’ve put the coffee creamer away in the dish cupboard, forgotten work deadlines and where I left my keys embarrassingly too often, almost hit a man on a bike coming out of the Whole Food parking lot, and lost my $h*# on my poor husband for the smallest things ever, all on account of being so Mombie-status tired. Sleep deprivation is no joke, and I didn’t understand how impactful it would be.

5. Leaving careers (and salaries!) that took a lot of time and education to achieve to stay home with your babies.

I thought I would never consider the SAHM life, and be one of those rock star professionals who were ready to get back to work following Maternity Leave, especially because I have a job and colleagues I truly enjoy… Well, I’ve pined to be home with my baby girl since my first day back.

Shoes: Steve Madden // Denim: Vici Dolls // Graphic Tee: Thread Tank

6. Canceling plans last minute or being perpetually late to them.

With a baby/kids involved, there are just way too many variables in play (naps, tantrums, mom exhaustion, colds, blowouts, etc.). As much as I value being reliable and on time, my schedule is not only my own anymore and I’m thankful for my friends (moms and non-moms) who just get it.

7. Not answering texts or voicemails until days later, or at all.

 Whereas I used to be a pretty insta-responder, I’m now totally guilty of this. I used to think there was no excuse for this, but you guys, “mom brain” is real.

8. Hiring a part time nanny as a stay at home mom.

I don’t have any friends who have actually done this and I’m not planning to anytime soon,  but I definitely wouldn’t judge anyone who did. I actually find that it’s harder to get anything done or squeeze in a little “me time” on days I’m at home. On work days, at least I know I’ll have 20 minutes of solitude and podcast listening on my commute whereas stay at home mom rarely get any alone time to recharge (God bless you sweet SAHMs!). I now totally understand why, if you could afford to, a stay or work at home mom would hire a nanny and can see how that would allow for more balance/”me time”.

9. The desire to “Twin”.

I seriously thought this was the most ridiculous concept ever. Then I had an adorable little mini-me (I also always hated that phrase, and kinda still do) and now I can’t stop looking for the perfect twinning get ups.

Mama Bear Baseball Tee: Thread Tank // Headband: KRZA // Re-growth: Me

Taylor’s Baseball Tee: American Apparel (sold out on their site, but I found it on Amazon)

10. Persevering with breastfeeding.

I thought, ‘if it’s hard, why not just give up and switch to formula immediately?’ Well, now that I’m a mom and find myself still pumping/scheduling/sterilizing/worrying about supply/etc. after being back to work for 5+ months in order to continue breastfeeding my 8-month-old, I so get it. It’s not easy,  but I’ve made the choice to do everything I can to make it work until it doesn’t anymore. That connection is something I’m not ready to let go of yet, and I hope I won’t have to anytime soon.

11. Pinterest.

I was a casual Pinterester pre-Taylor, but literally, the day after she was born I started curating all kinds of baby related boards with the best information and articles I could find. I spent hour upon hour reading from Pinterest during those round the clock newborn nursing sessions. Follow me at Taylormademama and save yourself a ton of time and research.

12. The crazy-making,heart-changing, life-altering love for a child.

I didn’t understand how much my heart could expand to even try to contain the love I have for my daughter. I would give anything to and do anything for her, and I’m sure I’ll make some crazy mama bear moves with her at the front of my mind.

And, mama, give yourself huge kudos and extra grace because Mommin’ ain’t an easy gig, but it’s the best one around.

Can you relate to any of my “now I get its”? What is something you didn’t understand about mom life until you became one yourself? I’d love if you would leave me a comment and let me know!

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18 thoughts on “Mommin’ Ain’t Easy – 12 Things I Never Understood About Moms, Until I Became One

    1. Ha ha, yes that’s probably the case! I don’t know how long my twinning kick with last, but I still shake my head that I love it so much!

  1. This is so true! I can relate to all of them, especially needing part-time help even as a full time SAHM. I went crazy when I was a SAHM of two kids under three, it was seriously the hardest thing ever. I just needed 30 minutes here and there, and I never got me time! Now as a WAHM, I hire part time help because its the only way I can get anything done. I’d rather work and pay for part time help rather than not working and doing everything alone full time, if that makes any sense. And I love that tee, I have one too. We can be twinsies!

    1. Yeay! We can totally be twinsies, Angela! I seriously cannot imagine having two under three although (with the timeline of my life) I am guessing that’s the situation I will be in in a year or two! I feel like I get little “me time” even with 1 baby and working, yikes. I would DEFINITELY hire part time help even as a SAHM mom with 2 or more kiddos, let alone trying to get work done as well. Good for you friend!

  2. You nailed these! So many things you wouldn’t expect pre-baby. Like how you mentioned going out often doesn’t feel worth it because you don’t even get to enjoy your friends while you are preoccupied with the grabby wriggly baby (or toddler!) lol. I always thought “I’ll just bring my baby!” and then realized what it was actually like ha ha. I think 32 is a fantastic age for a baby! In my city you wouldn’t be considered “not-so-young”, as most women here are in their mid 30’s when they start their families. Over here you’d be on the younger side!!! Love your posts, as always. Xo!

    1. Thank you SO much for reading my post, Krysta : ) I sometimes feel ancient, but I know that many women are having their first babies in their 30s these days. I just can’t believe that 35 (the age I’ll probably be when I’m next pregnant) is considered “high risk” and you have to go through all this crazy rigmarole. Makes me feel SO OLD. And, oh yes, I always thought it’d be so easy to just take the babe along everywhere….NOT the case haha XOXO

  3. Yes, to everything in this post! You never know these things until you are in it. I can’t wait for one of my friends to have a baby and then I can be like, ‘see, this is why I haven’t hung out in 4 years!’

  4. I would have thought any SAHM that hires a nanny is sooo lazy before I had kids. Now, with a six year old and one year old twins I’m really feeling the burnout. Definitely considering some part time help in the new year!

  5. So true about SAHM not having any time to themselves to recharge. I reached out to family for help because sleep deprivation was making me extremely anxious and depressed. After they turn 1 it gets a lot easier.

    1. I can imagine, Tamara! I’m glad to hear it gets easier after they turn 1, because the sleep deprivation part is definitely rough and affects all areas of life. I’m so glad you had family around who could help you : )

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